Smiling because of you

It’s been 3 days since you left and I felt as if it’s been weeks or months. I found myself looking at glitter lamp you gave me, checking the time difference between us. I become more obsessed with my laptop now , leaving it on for as long as I am at home. It has become our only mode of communication. It’s not much difference from the past, just that on top of checking my phone, wishing for your messages, I check facebook and hotmail more frequent too, hoping to see some news from you. 

I feel so sad not only from being away from you, but the fact that we can not behave like normal couples, showering each other with small gifts (not that it’s very important) but worst of all, hiding from our families, behaving as if we were having some very terrible affair. I think my cousin who has an affair, is behaving more open than we do. 

It’s really bad of me to complain about this every time and not being very considerate to you. I feel myself being so childish like teenage girls complaining about this. On one side, I want you to be extra careful not being found out by your mum which may caused you not being able to come back at all. On the other hand, I wished you could show me or tell me what have you been thinking about us, about me. But your nonchalant attitude is making me feel as if it’s not much difference for you. I do want to know how you feel about this, even if it’ll make me sad or worry more. Why couldn’t we share our feeling instead of only one sided feedback from me. I found this to be extremely saddening because it’s as if I am not a reliable person to be trusted. so please do not hide any sadness or worries from me. if that will mean more worries on my side, so be it at least I feel better that we are sharing. Do not turn me away with ‘nothing’ anymore.

I went to vik’s home to help up in cleaning of lots of stuffs. sadly I din help out much. I dont really feel tired surprisingly though we had to go up and down carrying bags and bags of stuff. some stuffs look so new but no choice has to be thrown. I had plenty of fun accompanying him though we were busy doing all stuff.

It was the first time I met his dad but I guess his dad was busy clearing all stuffs and doesn’t notice my presence at all. His dad was not like what I have imagined, i would say my first impression of him was kind and very different from those photos that I have seen in previous day. and vik looks literally the same as his dad in his younger days!!!:P so now I know how he will look like when he is midst 50s :P

It was also my first time i saw vik got so angry ( he has never been angry in front of me before), because his dad had accidentally thrown away my bag:/ I left my bag among the rubbish to be thrown away (dumb me:P) and went out with vik to sold off some items in cash converters and his dad just asked some cleaners to clear all the rubbish so goodbye to my bag and my badge:/ luckily i still had ez link card and hp with me though all my valuables were gone. Vik  once joked abt throwing away my bag but this is my first time someone literally throws away my bag :P I wasnt angry though, rather I was bit guilty to have seen him shouting at his dad in front of me. If I werent there today then his dad probably wont have to suffer this embarrassment, moreover i didn’t help much either. I guessed vik was really guilty abt it ( please dont, I’m really ok and enjoyed tdy much,I am more than willing to sacrifice all valuables so that I can spend last few days with you:) I blogged about this not to make you feel guilty, just to remind myself of this memorable day with you and my first encounter with your dad.

Later on when vik talked to his dad, his dad even asked him when did I came in at all :/ well that was funny, perhaps if I were to introduce myself as another person tmrw, he would not even realised :P on the side note, It may be a good thing cause I wont have to worry about leaving  any bad impression to his dad cause he wont even remember me :P

It was also my first time seeing vik got frustrated with something so badly. since his dad has just found the tenant a week ago, they had made promise to hand over the home tmrw, so it was really rushing to clear everything. Poor vik and his dad had to do everything on their own. it really sadden me lots to see vik struggle with all stuff, yet I could not help much :/ He really looks so worn out  and even had headache, I suppose it’s not enough rest:/ and his dad had to work the whole of yesterday too cause he has been taking leave past few days. I always feel sad for his dad cause I imagine someone who had such glorious past and has to work so tiring job now. I couldnt imagine if my dad had to do the same thing like him. It was really difficult to put down all pride I guess.   

I am going to his place again tomorrow to do all last minute cleaning, hopefully can help out more stuff and hopefully my presence can do something good to vik and not like today anymore :)  

to all my frens, I am very experienced in doing spring cleaning, so feel free to ask for help from me, it’s foc^^ just make sure you have cold water for me to drink, and air con room would be superb :P

officially hate birthday from this moment 
Birthdays got cursed for years!!!! 

Don’t want to age alone like her, so please stay with me till the end ;)

One will never understand the real meaning of ownership until she has lost it

firsttimeuser:

Olympic Dreams by James Dodd

cosascool:

Enric Adrian Gener